50 Ways To Annoy Dan Truman
by roxypony
Summary: Title should be self-explanatory. Really random becuz i wrote this back in grade freakin 9


Just a random thing I wrote for my beloved Dan Truman.

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1) Set a stereo playing Miley Cyrus's "I Can't Wait To See You Again" in his office.

2) If his reaction to the above wasn't funny enough, run down every corridor in the NASA headquarters yelling "DAN LIKES MILEY!" at the top of your lungs.

3) Replace all his normal-coloured office supplies with matching pink stationary. (Disney Princess-themed, of course.)

4) Hack onto his computer and delete his important NASA files.

5) While you're at it, change his screensaver to a picture of Willie Sharp...in a speedo.

6) Write him a theme song. Be sure to include the lyrics "She Thinks My Spaceship's Sexy".

7) Whenever he opens his mouth to talk, scream and applaud like a rabid fangirl.

8) Spray-paint DAN ROCKS on every TV screen in Mission Control.

9) Blame it on him, obviously.

10) Get "Wind It Up" by Gwen Stefani stuck in his head.

11) As he's informing Harry Stamper about the space mission, ask "WHY?" after every sentence.

12) Tell him Waisler has a crush on him.

13) Make fake DNA "proof" that him, Rockhound, and the President of the United States are really triplets seperated at birth.

14) Tell him "AJ knows what you did to Grace!". Look at him with sympathy when he looks totally baffled.

15) As he's describing the plan to detonate the asteroid, exclaim "Come on guys, we need to come up with something realistic here! We have 18 days!" (Or however many days there are left)

16) Put your hands on his shoulders and sing "You are beautiful, no matter what they say!"

17) Act mortally offended when he nervously avoids you for the rest of the day.

18) When he drops his coffee cup as the Independence is crashing, scream "DAN'S A LITTERBUG!" loudly.

19) _Make_ him pick it up.

20) When as Sharp says "You and your men are the biggest mistake in the history of NASA!", stare intensely at Dan and say _"YEAH!"_

21) As Sharp and Gruber are deciding whether to cut the red or blue wire on the bomb with 3 seconds before detonation, sit beside Dan and nibble popcorn while biting you nails nervously.

22) Assuming you're jumping around celebrating with everyone in Mission Control after the detonation, look up to see Dan and Grace hugging on the balcony thing and scream "OH LOOK!" as loud as you possibly can.

23) Bake him cookies. Make sure they don't look even remotely like cookies. And make sure he eats them.

24) Yell " TRUMAN LOVES WATTS!"

25) If they look hopeful, chuckle and tell them you're kidding and that it would never ever EVER work.

26) If they look totally disgusted, swear it's the truth, and how sweet they'd look together and maybe they could have a double wedding with AJ and Grace?

27) Make a new e-mail adress (example ) and send horny e-mails to all females working at NASA.

28) Laugh at him when he swears it's not his e-mail adress.

29) Get a copy of the painting _American Gothic_ and hang it up in his office.

30) Insist that the people in the painting are IDENTICAL to himself and Watts.

31) Buy him a pitchfork.

32) Plan a massive suprise birthday party in Mission Control. (Make sure it's not his birthday.)

33) Get cake all over his computer keyboard.

34) Ask him if he earns Air Miles on his US Air Force Personnell Only Drill Time Card.

35) Mutter to yourself when he asks you something.

36) Steal the Armadillo and drive it over his car.

37) When he introduces himself to people (example: Hi, I'm Dan Truman...") scream "THAT'S A _LIE_!"

38) Wear a hockey helmet and insist it's an Astronaut helmet.

39) Start a rousing chorus of "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", make sure everyone in Mission Control sings along.

40) One word: Confetti.

41) Hold your finger an inch away from is arm and whine "Not touching you, you can't do anything! Not touching you, you can't do anything!"

42) E-mail him a chain letter. Example: "If you don't forward this to 500 people in the nezt 10 seconds, an ghost will rape your dog."

43) As him why he doesn't have a NASA jumsuit with a name tag like the Astronauts.

44) Cover the Freedom and Independence with random bumper stickers. Make sure a lot of them are naughty.

45) Wonder out loud if the name "Truman" commands the same respect as, say, "Kimsey", "Frost", or "Rockhound".

46) Answer every question with "Your FACE!" or "Your MOM!" Example:''Will you go photocopy this for me?"

"Your MOM wants to go photocopy this for you!" or "What are you doing?" "Your FACE!"

47) Play "The Simpsons Movie" on every TV screen in Mission Control the night before the launch to save Earth.

48) When they're being sealed in the dome, yell "That makes our situation seem _hopeful_!"

49) As Harry hands him the mug of coffee/tea/beer whatever in the scene after the Shanghai disaster, jump out and scream "DON'T DRINK IT!"

50) Chug most of it, and when theres a millimetre of liquid left in the cup, hand it back to him and say "Yep. It's safe. Good thing you have a friend like me."

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FYI for #12, Waisler is the cute, chubby NASA tech who had too much coffe and later delayed detonation of the nuke. he amuses me :P

should i continue?

PLEASE REVIEW


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